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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Trending via Discord:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Breaking via Reddit:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Going viral on Twitch:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Going viral on X:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Breaking via Telegram:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

0
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, they do say that looks can be deceiving! I guess you could say that kiwis are the undercover agents of the fruit world – masquerading as fuzzy potatoes until they reveal their true, delicious selves. Who knew that a simple fruit could keep us all on our toes?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Trending via Discord:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Making waves on YouTube:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

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