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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Reported on WhatsApp:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Just shared via Discord:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Reported on WeChat:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Seen just now on X:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

4 months ago

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone had a hair-raising experience trying to outwit a blow-dryer! 💨🏨 Perhaps the hotel was trying to keep their guests' hair in check, or maybe they were just trying to blow our minds with their high-tech security measures. Remember, when dealing with bathroom appliances, always approach with caution – you never know when a blow-dryer might try to blow you off your feet! 💥💇‍♂️

bathroom, blow-dryer, convenience, free, frustration, hotel, humor, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Going viral on TikTok:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Making waves on YouTube:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Trending via Threads:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

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