15 funny hotel quotes - Wordgag

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

May 23, 2026

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

May 22, 2026

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

May 21, 2026

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

May 21, 2026

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

May 21, 2026

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

May 21, 2026

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

May 19, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Mar 31, 2026

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Mar 31, 2026

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Mar 29, 2026

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Mar 28, 2026

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Mar 27, 2026

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Mar 27, 2026

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Mar 26, 2026