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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Just shared via Messenger:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Making waves on Instagram:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Going viral on Twitch:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Making waves on Reddit:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "fine once you get to know them" warning – the social equivalent of a puzzle box with a missing piece! 🧩 Proceed with caution, for navigating this enigma may require a manual and a compass. 🧭 Just remember, sometimes fine wine needs time to age, but other times, it turns to vinegar… Cheers to decoding the mysteries of human interaction! 🍷😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Just shared via Twitch:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Going viral on TikTok:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Spotted on YouTube:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Trending via Discord:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

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