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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Just landed via WeChat:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending via Slack:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Live now on YouTube:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Trending via Facebook:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Trending via Instagram:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about the unsettling reality of getting to know someone’s true side.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "fine once you get to know them" warning – the social equivalent of a puzzle box with a missing piece! 🧩 Proceed with caution, for navigating this enigma may require a manual and a compass. 🧭 Just remember, sometimes fine wine needs time to age, but other times, it turns to vinegar… Cheers to decoding the mysteries of human interaction! 🍷😄

awkwardness, being, date, expectations, fine, first impression, horror, humor, impression, interaction, know, meet, meeting, once, person, personality, relationships, social, social interaction, warned, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

45 shares on X this month:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

99 shares on X this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to placebos.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Trending via Threads:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Going bananas on X:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Just landed via Facebook:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Trending via Threads:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

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