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Looks like the magician's trick backfired – now he'll have to enjoy a splurge on his own dime! 💳😄 Remember, always read the fine print before using magic for financial gain! ✨

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa

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Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

1 month ago
away, beginners, freak, freak out, humor, ID, patience, reaction, spontaneity, straight, stress
There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

1 month ago
attack, dream, expenses, having, homeownership, house, humor, i, own, prices, reality
No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

1 month ago
confusion, even, humor, identity, knows, me, mystery, private, self-awareness, unknown
“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

1 month ago
asked, ChatGPT, christ, conversation, humor, i, Jesus, Jesus Christ, joke, okay, religious, technology, well
I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

1 month ago
6am, always, annoyance, before, bin, bin man, collection, funny situation, garbage, getting, humor, i, just, man, men, morning, nice, sarcasm, sick, situation, sleep, waking, waking up, want
Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

1 month ago
being, break, culture, employees, help, humor, meetings, productive, productivity, take, wonderful, work, work culture, workplace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Seen just now on Slack:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Going viral on Messenger:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

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The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

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The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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