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Commentary:
Looks like the magician's trick backfired – now he'll have to enjoy a splurge on his own dime! 💳😄 Remember, always read the fine print before using magic for financial gain! ✨

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

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2 months ago

2012, culture, date, humor, joke, Mayan, prediction, prophecy, stop, told, warning
Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

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2 months ago

divorce, ex-aunt, family, humor, i, relationships, weird
Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

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2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time
I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

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2 months ago

ability, admire, block, car, cars, exactly, frustration, humor, i, light, sun, visor, where
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

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2 months ago

connection, friends, fun, homes, i, secret, tunnels, underground, wish
Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

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2 months ago

good, greeting, humor, morning, personality, sarcastic, sunshine, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

62 shares on X this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Seen just now on Slack:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Just landed via Slack:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨