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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Just landed via Discord:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Just landed via Messenger:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Going viral on Discord:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Just shared via Facebook:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Going viral on YouTube:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Flexing those scars like badges of honor, turning battle wounds into life lessons 💪🧠💥 #WisdomOverWounds"

flex, growth, humor, real, resilience, turn, wisdom, wounds

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

0

5 months ago

access, finance, good, house, humor, i, internet, joke, leave, money, online, online shopping, personal, personal finance, pretty, self-control, shopping, spending
Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

0

2 months ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction
You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

0

2 months ago

activity, couch, door, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, outdoor, struggle, sun, want
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

0

2 months ago

best, best friend, cheese, comparison, diamonds, food, friend, friendship, girl, girls, humor, love, never, shredded, shredded cheese, snack
Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

0

2 weeks ago

asleep, break, cat, funny situation, media, phone, situation, sleep, social, social media
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

0

5 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

30 shares on X this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

27 shares on Slack this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Freshly posted on X:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Spotted on WeChat:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Just shared via Threads:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Just landed via TikTok:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Broadcasted on X:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨