Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

401 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,670

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,670

Jan 12, 2026

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Live now on Twitch:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Going viral on Telegram:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Trending via Pinterest:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

2 months ago

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' 'fake it till you make it' strategy on full display! 🤣 Who knew a simple shirt could be the ultimate power move in life and in avoiding chores at crowded events? 🙌 Bravo to this genius mastermind wandering around in plain sight! 👕💼 #LifeHack101"

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

2 months ago

exchange, family, family legacy, financial, financial success, generational, generational trauma, generational wealth, growth, hello, humor, ID, irony, legacy, life, life struggle, personal, personal growth, struggle, success, trauma, wealth, yes
I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

2 months ago

always, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, outside, reluctance, shouldn’t, social
The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

2 months ago

Airbnb, asleep, comfort, comfortable, falling, humor, never, reviews, sleep, tell, toilet, toilets
I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

4 months ago

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish
There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

2 months ago

absolutely, day, doing, doing nothing, enough, hours, humor, laziness, me, nothing, procrastination, time
The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

2 months ago

after, days, five, humor, Monday, relatable, weekend, work, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

401 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,670

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,670

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Going viral on Discord:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Just landed via Instagram:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just landed via X:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Going viral on TikTok:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

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