Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Spreading quickly via X:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Breaking via X:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Making waves on WeChat:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Shared recently on Twitch:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Just shared via Instagram:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about success and humor, featuring a playful shirt with "STAFF" written on the back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' 'fake it till you make it' strategy on full display! 🤣 Who knew a simple shirt could be the ultimate power move in life and in avoiding chores at crowded events? 🙌 Bravo to this genius mastermind wandering around in plain sight! 👕💼 #LifeHack101"

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

15 shares on X this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fries, not lies.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Trending via Pinterest:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Just shared via TikTok:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

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