The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.