Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on Slack:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Breaking via X:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Just landed via YouTube:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Spotted on Twitch:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

2 months ago

0

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the delightful dance of sin and energy, creating the mystical synergy! It's like painting the town red with a mischievous sparkle ✨ and a sinful smirk 😈. Who knew collaboration could be so scandalously stylish? Keep the synergy sizzling, darling! 🔥

creativity, debauchery, energy, flair, fun, humor, mix, sin, sounds, synergy, word, wordplay, words, zest

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, cost, day, drinking, erase, every, Facebook, fun, humor, i, liquor, me, memory, nostalgia, show
I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort food, food, gratitude, happiness, humor, i, live, pizza, planet, thankful
If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, danger, dead, ever, found, humor, i, irony, nature, pet, trying, wildlife, woods
My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, change, clear, goal, humor, life, life change, month, motivation, next, self-improvement, simple, simplicity, small, whole
My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

0

2 months ago

attitude, eye, eyes, finger, gesture, giving, humor, middle, middle finger, only, sarcasm, superpower, using
Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

0

2 months ago

chamber, communication, echo, echo chamber, humor, i, irony, love, nothing, relationship, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

91 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How is it still this week?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Just shared via Messenger:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Just landed via WeChat:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

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