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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Making waves on Twitch:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Just shared via Twitch:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about self-deprecating humor, highlighting a playful and humorous attitude.

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Commentary:
"Who needs a relationship when you have a face that can charm even the toughest critics? 😏✨ #SingleAndSlayingIt #FaceOfFlawless"

dating, face, humor, reason, relationship, self-deprecating, single

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Going viral on Slack:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Going viral on Threads:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Going viral on Slack:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Just landed via Discord:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Going viral on Messenger:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Going viral on Instagram:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Live now on TikTok:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨