Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

59 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Trending via Instagram:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just landed via Twitch:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

6 months ago

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, how about "coffeenarcotics"? It's like hitting the snooze button on reality while still getting stuff done ☕💤💼 Just imagine the jolt of energy paired with the ultimate relaxation! Coffee enthusiasts and sleepyheads everywhere would rejoice at this powerful combo. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have our own version of a halfway-to-heaven brew 😄🚀 #DreamingBig

boost, caffeine, coffee, creativity, energy, energy boost, humor, invention, narcotics, should, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

59 minutes ago

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Just shared via Discord:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Shared recently on Threads:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Just landed via Telegram:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Making waves on Messenger:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Spotted on Twitch:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴