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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Breaking via Threads:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Live now on Twitch:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Making waves on YouTube:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Going viral on Discord:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

This whole week could have been an email.

1 week ago

Funny quote about feeling overwhelmed, with witty words about a busy week.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💌💻 "Ever had one of those weeks where you're basically a living, breathing spam filter? It's like every meeting and memo was just one giant attachment to the most unnecessary email ever sent. Who needs a calendar when you have a delete key, am I right? 😆 #EmailsForDays"

communication, email, humor, productivity, week, whole, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

38 shares on Discord this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Just landed via Telegram:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Trending via Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via TikTok:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Just landed via YouTube:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Just shared via Facebook:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

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