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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Jan 11, 2026

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Just shared via Discord:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Trending via Twitch:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Making waves on Reddit:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Making waves on Messenger:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Just shared via Instagram:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

This whole week could have been an email.

2 months ago

This whole week could have been an email.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💌💻 "Ever had one of those weeks where you're basically a living, breathing spam filter? It's like every meeting and memo was just one giant attachment to the most unnecessary email ever sent. Who needs a calendar when you have a delete key, am I right? 😆 #EmailsForDays"

communication, email, humor, productivity, week, whole, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

2 months ago

balance, date, deadline, deadlines, humor, i, meet, priority, relationship, want, work life, work-life balance
Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

2 months ago

being, coding, debugging, detective, humor, movie, normal, problem-solving, programming, self-talk, talking, where, yourself
Starting to think business is standing on me.

6 months ago

business, complaint, humor, me, pressure, standing, starting, stress, think, wordplay, work
Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

2 months ago

assumptions, autoassume, autocorrect, humor, language, technology
I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

2 months ago

age, humor, i, know, start, think, traditional, work
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

2 months ago

change, colon, example, friend, friends, grammar, humor, joke, meaning, sandwich, sentence, vs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

67 shares on X this month:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

63 shares on Discord this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Spotted on Twitch:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Live now on Instagram:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Making waves on Discord:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Twitch:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Trending via Facebook:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

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