Someone from has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from has viewed:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from has viewed:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from has bookmarked:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from has viewed:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from has viewed:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from has downloaded:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from has viewed:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”