Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Spotted on Facebook:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Just landed via Twitch:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Going viral on Messenger:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If you think you can treat me like a joke, I'll be out of here faster than a punchline at a comedy show! 🎭😂 #NotJustForLaughs"

humor, joke, leave, me, relationship, sarcasm, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

0

3 weeks ago

before, breakup, country, country song, hear, humor, leaving, matter, only, self-driving, self-driving vehicle, song, time, truck, vehicle
If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

0

2 months ago

asleep, driving, exhaustion, fall, humor, nap, pillow, road, road trip, sleep, steering, steering wheel, trip, wheel
Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

0

2 months ago

believe, difference, everything, Facebook, generational, generational difference, humor, internet, irony, media, parent, parents, social, social media, trust
It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, ears, head, humor, observation, pet, top
A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

0

2 months ago

communication, expression, humor, sigh, speak, woman, words
Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

0

2 months ago

beats, having, hip-hop, humor, kids, lo-fi, millennial, millennials, parenting, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

64 shares on Slack this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Making waves on Discord:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Just shared via Discord:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Going viral on Facebook:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Just shared via Instagram:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Trending via Reddit:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨