Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
  • I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.
  • Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.
  • If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.