Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Commentary:
“Looks like someone’s pulling out of their responsibilities at the sperm bank! 🙈 Talk about a ‘missed opportunity’! 😂💦”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the joy of online shopping surprises! 🎁😅 It’s like Amazon is reminding you, “Hey, time flies when you’re hunting for the perfect gift!” ⏰🎉 Looks like you’ve just won the “Efficient Shopper of the Year” award! 🥇🎁🤣

  • Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

    Commentary:
    “Considering a demotion from being an adult; my current mental state is more suited for the role of Chief Napper 😴. Grateful for the chance to adult, but these responsibilities need a timeout. 🚫🧠 #AdultingCanWait”

  • Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

    Commentary:
    “Life’s simple recipe for success: ☕️ Drink coffee to stay awake, 🧠 avoid idiots to stay sane, 📚 read books for wisdom, and then just hit that repeat button! 🔄 Now, who’s up for some caffeine-fueled enlightenment and idiot-free adventures?”

  • I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic case of having an inferiority complex that even feels inadequate itself! 🤣 Clearly, this complex needs to up its game and learn a thing or two about being more confident. Maybe it should take notes from the overachieving superiority complex next door! 😉”

  • Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that Icarus wasn’t just grappling with the sun, but also battling those spicy hot wings? 🔥🍗 Looks like wings aren’t just dangerous for chickens! 😂”

  • I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

    Commentary:
    “Who says therapy has to be expensive? Just head to the nearest empty field and let it all out! 🌾🗣️ Don’t worry, the cows won’t judge. 😂 #ReleaseTheKraken”