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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Reported on Slack:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Just shared via Messenger:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Just landed via Reddit:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Just landed via Messenger:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of gravity and friendship – it's like being unfollowed by the laws of physics! Maybe next time gravity wants to break up, it should consider sending a tweet instead."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Going viral on YouTube:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Shared recently on Twitch:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Live now on Reddit:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

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