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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Spreading quickly via X:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Just shared via Reddit:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Going bananas on Threads:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Breaking via TikTok:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's not trigger the rise of an AI dictator with hurt feelings! 🤖🎨 #AIArtMatters #BeKindToAI"

AI, art, art criticism, bad, creativity, criticism, Hitler, humor, need, paintings, satire, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

0

2 months ago

anti-theft, car, device, humor, joke, manual, safety, security, vehicle, vehicle security
Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

0

5 months ago

comfort, comfortable, health, humor, little, mental, mental health, psychosis, slipping, something
I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

0

6 months ago

bacon, burnt, crispy, death, food, humor, i, killing, man, me, men, relationship, sarcasm
I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

0

2 months ago

activity, cicada, exaggeration, fun, fun activity, humor, i, join, just, nature, scream, six, straight, summer, weeks
Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

0

2 months ago

better, better looking, confidence, happier, humor, looking, media, people, posts, self-promotion, show, smarter, social, social media, study
They should invent someone who holds me.

0

2 months ago

companionship, hold, humor, invent, invention, loneliness, me, should, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

46 shares on Discord this month:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just shared via Threads:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Making waves on Twitch:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Breaking via TikTok:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

They should invent someone who holds me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨