Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

48 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Reported on Slack:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Live now on Twitch:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Just landed via Twitch:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Just shared via TikTok:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – from stealthy moves to crackling grooves! 🕺💀 Just remember, each creak and pop is a reminder of your well-earned wisdom… or maybe it's just your body reminding you to stretch more! 🧘‍♂️😂 Embrace the symphony of sounds that come with entering the fabulous 40s club! 🎶🔊 #CreakyButCheeky"

40s, ability, aging, bones, changes, cracking, humor, life, life changes, sneaky, walk, walking, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

48 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Making waves on Discord:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Going viral on X:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Making waves on Telegram:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Spotted on Slack:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Trending via WeChat:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴