Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

58 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Going viral on TikTok:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Spotted on Slack:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Live now on YouTube:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on X:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Jan 23, 2025

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "famous last words" strikes again! 🙈😂 It's like tempting fate and then fate saying, "Hold my drink." Life really has a way of keeping us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️🌪️ Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, it hands you a shovel and says, "Keep digging!" 😅 #FailureOfImagination

failure, imagination, least, things, well, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

58 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Spotted on Slack:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just landed via Telegram:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Reported on Reddit:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Just landed via Discord:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Making waves on X:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴