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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Making waves on Facebook:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Trending via Threads:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Just landed via Facebook:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Just shared via Facebook:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Seen just now on Slack:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

1 month ago

Humorous text about workplace complaints and family dynamics, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like your mom's got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest"

complain, coworkers, family, fire, hr, humor, kids, mom, relationships, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

15 shares on X this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Going bananas on Threads:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Making waves on Instagram:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Live now on Discord:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

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