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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Just shared via Facebook:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Breaking via Instagram:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Shared recently on X:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.
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Commentary:
"Looks like your mom's got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

32 shares on X this month:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Just landed via Reddit:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Live now on TikTok:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Just shared via Threads:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Just shared via WeChat:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Just landed via Discord:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

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