Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.
  • Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.
  • At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.
  • She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.
  • I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.
  • I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.