Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Trending via Slack:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Making waves on Reddit:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Just shared via X:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Witty quote about email clichés and tracking skills, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next time you receive an email starting with 'I hope this email finds you well,' just remember it's not about luck – it's about the email's impressive detective work! 🕵️‍♂️💌 #EmailNinja"

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Discord this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Trending via Telegram:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Making waves on Threads:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Just shared via Slack:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Spotted on Slack:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Making waves on X:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just shared via Twitch:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Going viral on YouTube:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Trending via TikTok:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴