When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.