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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Trending via WeChat:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Trending via YouTube:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Making waves on Facebook:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Breaking via X:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
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Commentary:
🌕🍕 "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. 🌊🦑 When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray." 😂 Looks like love and sea creatures have more in common than we thought! Just be careful where you swim… and what you swim with!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just shared via Slack:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Shared recently on Facebook:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Making waves on Messenger:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

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