Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.
  • Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.
  • I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.
  • I am cassette tape years old.
  • I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.
  • Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.