Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

34 minutes ago

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Reported on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Just shared via Messenger:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Breaking via YouTube:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Going viral on Facebook:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Making waves on Instagram:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Jan 21, 2025

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency! Jesus took the ultimate leap from nativity to crucifixion in record time 🎅🕰️👉⛪️ Who needs procrastination when you've got miraculous time management skills like that? 🤣🙌 #SlayingGoals #JesusSpeedRun"

accomplishment, Christmas, Easter, humor, Jesus, religion, think, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

34 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Tested positive for being single af

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Trending via TikTok:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Spreading quickly via X:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Going viral on Discord:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Trending via YouTube:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Just landed via YouTube:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Going viral on Instagram:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Shared recently on Threads:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴