Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like someone mistook "pet bed" for "people bed" and poor Goldie didn't stand a chance! 🐠💤 #SleepingWithTheFishes #FishOutOfWater

bed, dead, goldfish, let, lot, okay, pets, sleep, thanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

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2 months ago

back, coffee, companionship, friend, humor, let, love, loyalty, meant, meant to be, relationship
The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

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2 months ago

annoying, annoying child, child, family, house, household, humor, jokes, mother-in-law, parenting, relationships
How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

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2 months ago

existential, figment, humor, identity, imagination, just, know, question, reality, self-awareness
I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

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5 months ago

age, ashtray, Christmas, gift, humor, i, nostalgia, old, old age, parent, parents, saying, school
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

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2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth
I keep my mind active by worrying.

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2 months ago

activity, health, humor, i, keep, mental, mental health, mind, self-care, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Just shared via Telegram:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Live now on YouTube:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Seen just now on X:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Spotted on Twitch:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just shared via Reddit:

Body by sandwich.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨