Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

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So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

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I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

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A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

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November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

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I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

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I want the dreams to chase me for once.

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Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

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Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

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When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

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Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.