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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Breaking via Facebook:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Just landed via Instagram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Freshly posted on X:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

0
Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?
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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal mystery of the Super Bowl name 🏈🎳 Perhaps it's because the players are always striking to make those touchdowns! Or maybe it's a clever marketing ploy to spare us from the spare moments of a regular old bowling game! Whatever the reason, one thing's for sure: the only strikes happening at the Super Bowl are on the field, not the lanes!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

The future is buffering.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

36 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Just shared via YouTube:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Going viral on Discord:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just landed via Instagram:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Live now on WeChat:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

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