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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Spotted on X:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Seen just now on Discord:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Making waves on Slack:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Spotted on Facebook:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

4 weeks ago

Humorous text pondering why mosquitoes don't feed on fat instead of blood.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, imagine a world where you could get rid of excess pounds simply by shooing away a mosquito – talk about a weight loss hack worth buzzing about! 🦟💪 Don't worry though, knowing mosquitoes, they'd probably just end up sucking the joy out of dessert instead. #MosquitoDietGoals 🍰😂🔥

diet, fat, health, humor, joke, mosquito

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WeChat this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

47 shares on Telegram this month:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Just landed via TikTok:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Trending via Reddit:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Going viral on TikTok:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

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