Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

If anyone needs me, Iโ€™ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I canโ€™t come.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

I used to be cool and now I say things like โ€œItโ€™s so loud in here, I canโ€™t hear myself thinkโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. Theyโ€™ve quieted down. Thereโ€™s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Iโ€™m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

We always asked โ€œwhere is Waldoโ€ but never โ€œwho is Waldo hiding fromโ€.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Spotted on Discord:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Going viral on TikTok:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going viral on X:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Just landed via Slack:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Spreading quickly via X:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

0
Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of choosing between sweet dreams or a late-night rendezvous with every awkward moment from the past decade ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ’ญ Who needs sleep when you have a mind that's always ready to throw an impromptu party at 3 AM?"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and Iโ€™m still alive.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my โ€œoutstanding billโ€. If itโ€™s so good, why donโ€™t you pay it?

87 shares on TikTok this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

21 shares on TikTok this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

91 shares on X this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I donโ€™t think he even knows it.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

69 shares on X this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can add โ€œcha cha chaโ€ to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t know who needs to hear this but youโ€™re not dying, itโ€™s just Monday.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,574

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I love to see โ€œpan-friedโ€ on a menu. I hate food thatโ€™s fried in a shoe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

You donโ€™t really see women throwing their boyfriendโ€™s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on Slack:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Live now on X:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where itโ€™s air conditioned.

Live now on Messenger:

Donโ€™t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด