Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

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“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

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Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

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You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

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Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

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Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

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I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

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People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

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Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

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As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

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Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?