Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Seen just now on Twitch:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Making waves on YouTube:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Live now on Telegram:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Just landed via Instagram:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

2 months ago

0

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the blissful ignorance of cookie-induced amnesia – where time melts away like butter on a warm cookie 🍪⏰ Who needs a calendar when you have a steady supply of sweet treats to keep you in a perpetual state of bliss? 😅 #CookieDayDreams

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

0

2 months ago

accessory, beauty, care, daily, daily routine, fashion, feeling, forgetting, humor, jewelry, literally, perfume, personal, personal care, put, routine, worst
Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

0

2 months ago

90, activity, aesthetics, decision, decision making, fun, fun activity, grape, grape variety, humor, label, making, pretty, pretty label, shopping, variety, wine
My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, going, i, pretty, realization, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, well
It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

0

2 months ago

getting, guitar, harmonica, heat, hot, hot weather, instrument, music, outdoor, outside, slide, slide guitar, summer, weather
I wish tree puns were more poplar.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, nature, poplar, pun, tree, tree pun, wordplay
No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

0

2 months ago

breakup, embarrassment, gangsta, humor, last, me, relationship, relationships

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Making waves on Twitch:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Making waves on Reddit:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Just landed via Messenger:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Just shared via TikTok:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Just landed via Telegram:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

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