Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”