You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

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A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

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First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

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I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

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My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

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Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

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Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

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Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

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I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

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Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

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When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.