Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.
  • Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.
  • A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.
  • My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.
  • I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.
  • If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.