Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Making waves on X:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Just shared via Facebook:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Making waves on WeChat:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Trending via TikTok:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Making waves on Threads:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Just shared via X:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Witty text about relationship drama, highlighting humorous breakup reasoning.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day philosopher's dilemma: Why did they break up? 🤔 Let's hope Google can solve this mystery faster than they figured out how to roll out self-driving cars 🚗🔍 #RelationshipGoneGoogle"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

98 shares on X this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a long hot meteor shower.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Going viral on Telegram:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴