Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.
  • I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.
  • The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.
  • Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.
  • Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.
  • My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.