Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Trending via Reddit:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Trending via YouTube:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

5 days ago

Funny text about zombies reassuring you’re safe from brain-eating; playful and amusing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's a relief! Looks like I won't have to worry about the zombies mistaking me for a buffet anytime soon. I guess all those years of studying and working on my brainpower are finally paying off – literally a life-saving investment!

brain, eat, fear, humor, joke, monster, safety, survival, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

87 shares on X this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, mute my children.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Making waves on Instagram:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Making waves on YouTube:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Seen just now on Slack:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just landed via YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Going viral on TikTok:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

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