50+ Funny Best Jokes That Celebrate Life’s Top Moments

New funny best jokes

• The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

• Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

• The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

• I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

• The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

• The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

• The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

• Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

• The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

• “NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Top funny best jokes

• The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

• There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

• Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

• The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

• Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

• Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

• Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

• Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

• A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

• Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Popular funny best jokes

• Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

• I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

• Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

• I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

• Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

• Internet strangers offer the best advice.

• The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

• This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

• The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

More funny best jokes

• The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

• Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

• The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

• The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

• Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

• Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

• Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

• Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

• An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

• The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Witty best jokes

• Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

• Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

• Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

• All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

• I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

• Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

• My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

• What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

• The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

• Later is the best time to do anything.