50+ Funny Body Quotes That Prove Our Bodies Have A Mind Of Their Own

New funny body quotes

• 
  Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

  Commentary:
  Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑

• 
  Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

  Commentary:
  Keeping my heads held high! 😂😆 #ChinUp #DoubleTheFun

• 
  Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

  Commentary:
  That's one way to twist your way to the top of the bad posture league! 🥨🪑😅

• 
  I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

  Commentary:
  Who needs a six-pack when you’ve got a cooler full of snacks? 🍕🏖️😎

• 
  Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

  Commentary:
  I didn’t know Axe body spray had a spokesperson! 🤣👃💨

• 
  Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

  Commentary:
  When you spot a BBL in the wild, it's like finding a unicorn at the grocery store 🦄🛒🤯

• 
  The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

  Commentary:
  🌕🌊 If the moon had a gym membership, it’d have abs of steel from all that ocean dragging! Middle school me still blames it for dragging my math grades down too! 😆💪

• 
  Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

  Commentary:
  ✨ Let me know when you find the "push" button, because I think mine is stuck on snooze! 😴💪

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  Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

  Commentary:
  I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔

• 
  A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

  Commentary:
  Flat stomachs are cool, but have you tried accessorizing with pizza? 🍕😄

Top funny body quotes

• 
  My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

  Commentary:
  When my body requires renovations, it involves more yoga and less duct tape 😂🏛️🛠️

• 
  Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you arm fat, make it a concert! 🎶💪😂

• 
  By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

  Commentary:
  Wardrobe full of "goal outfits" ready to debut in 2040! 😅👗👖 #OptimisticFashionista

• 
  Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

  Commentary:
  In 5 years, I'll be the same person with extra layers of wisdom and pizza! 🍕🤣

• 
  I want this laziness removed from my body.

  Commentary:
  If only I could uninstall my laziness like a bad app! 😂📱➖

• 
  Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

  Commentary:
  Puppy mode activated! What mysterious wonders have you sniffed out this time? 🐶🔍🍖

• 
  So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

  Commentary:
  When you've got the heart of a lion, but the size of a purse dog 🦁🐕

• 
  I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like my bed is the only thing holding me together! 🛏️😂😴

• 
  May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

  Commentary:
  Here's hoping your jeans are more forgiving than your alarm clock! 🍑👖😂

• 
  According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

  Commentary:
  Who knew my height needed a growth chart adjustment? 😂📏

Popular funny body quotes

• 
  You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

  Commentary:
  When your brain hits the eject button, love must be in the air! 😜💘🧠

• 
  I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

  Commentary:
  Adding imaginary conquests to the resume now—my dream life is more exciting than my real one! 😂💤💔

• 
  I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

  Commentary:
  The suspense is real—my metabolism thinks it's on a rollercoaster of carbs and confusions! 🎢🍕🍩🤔

• 
  My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

  Commentary:
  When you're 70% water and 100% winging it! 💧🤷‍♂️😴

• 
  It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

  Commentary:
  Looks like I've been a nutrition expert my whole life without even knowing it! 🍪🍫🥔🎉

• 
  The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

  Commentary:
  Everest: where lying down on the job is a permanent position. 🏔️💤

• 
  Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

  Commentary:
  🎃💀 Personally, I'd rather meet a rattling set of bones than a walking anatomy lesson with no chill! 💪😅

• 
  The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it ironic how kids and alarm clocks collaborate to keep parents from ever sleeping past sunrise 😂🕒☀️

• 
  Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the stomach - always so straightforward and honest! 🤣🍴 Unlike the sneaky brain which keeps us guessing most of the time! Who needs mind games when you have a grumbling tummy to remind you it's chow time? 😂 #FoodAlwaysWins"

• 
  They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

  Commentary:
  "According to scientific research, the human body is 60% water... 🌊💧 Or at least it was until my husband and son came into the picture! After careful monitoring, I propose a new finding: they are at least 50% hot air and wind! 💨🤣 #FamilyScience #Windbags"

More funny body quotes

• 
  I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a beach body when you can rock a snowman bod all year round?! ⛄️👙 Winter is your season to shine... literally! ❄️ #SnowmanGoals"

• 
  When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

  Commentary:
  Oh, look who's getting messages from Mother Nature herself! 🌿📱 Must be that age when your body decides to spam you with aches and pains like a guilt-tripping ex! 😂 Better reply before she starts sending those passive-aggressive joint pains! Just nature's way of asking, "Are you sure you want to keep partying like you're 20?" 🎉🥳 #GettingOlderButNotWiser

• 
  I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a gym membership when you can just strategically choose your squad? 🤔 Surround yourself with all the snacks - I mean friends, and voilà, instant weight loss illusion! 😂🍰 #SquadGoals"

• 
  I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you can't have both? 🤷‍♀️💪🍗 Work hard for that hot body, but never say no to some hot wings! Balance is key, right? 😉🔥 #FitnessGoalsVsFoodGoals"

• 
  My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs big chances when you've got big thighs? 💁‍♀️ Embrace your thunder thighs and conquer the world – one squat at a time! 🏋️‍♀️💪 #ThighsOfSteel #LifeGoals"

• 
  Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

  Commentary:
  "Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the miraculous healing power of a well-timed fart? 💨🤣 Who needs medicine when you've got nature's own remedy at your disposal! #GasIsTheBestMedicine"

• 
  Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

  Commentary:
  Looks like it's time to plug in and recharge! ⚡😴 Don't let your body run on low power mode for too long, or you might start glitching out! 😂🔌 #NeedMoreSleep

• 
  I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

  Commentary:
  "Who said I'm gaining weight? I'm just expanding my storylines! 📚💪 Don't judge me, I'm just adding more chapters to my life! 📖🍕"

• 
  I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic internal struggle between ambition and desire for a nap 😴💭. It's like having a go-getter and a sloth living inside the same body! 🤷‍♂️ #TheStruggleIsReal"

• 
  Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old battle between your birth certificate and your back pain 🤣👴 Sometimes life just loves throwing us these curveballs! Stay young at heart, even if your back disagrees. 💪 #ForeverYoung"

Witty body quotes

• 
  I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs invisibility when you've got such undeniable visibility? 🍔👀 #CantMissThis"

• 
  I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this spiritual journey is getting a little too cozy around the waistline 😋👖 Don't worry, expanding your horizons is good for the soul... and the seams of your jeans! 🍔🧘‍♀️ #EatPrayLoveButAlsoSizeUp"

• 
  I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to rally all those bones, muscles, and cells in the morning is like herding cats... except there's way more of them! 🦴💪🔬 Just give them a few snooze button taps to kick-start the party in there! ⏰🥳"

• 
  There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like that poor fat man is trapped like a sardine in a can! 🤭🐟 Let him out for some air, or better yet, some cake! 🍰😂

• 
  The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of aging gracefully - losing body parts along the way 🤷‍♂️ Just remember to pick 'em up if you find 'em! 🦵🔜🙈"

• 
  My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick - at least it's got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries...⚡😂"

• 
  Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic tale of internal organ rebellion! 🤣 It's like your body's playing a game of charades, but with a painful twist! 🤕 Don't worry, it's probably just your organs throwing a little party in there without inviting you. 🎉 Just remind them who's the boss with some self-care and a good laugh! 😅

• 
  Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the joys of reaching your 50s! 🎉 Welcome to the era where your knees hold the power and dictate your sitting schedule. It's like having your own personal knee bosses running the show! 💪😂 Remember to treat them well, or else they might just send you crashing down when you least expect it! Enjoy the sit-down dance of your 50s! 🕺💃

• 
  My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between the brain and the body - a classic tale of conflict! 🧠🤷‍♂️ Listen to your body, it's got more experience in this whole 'being a responsible adult' thing. Your brain can dream up the wild ideas, but your body knows what's best for a chill day. 🤣 #BrainVsBody"

• 
  I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

  Commentary:
  Seems like the advertisers believe in the saying, "straight to the point!" 😂 Chin up, you're not alone in receiving personalized ads that hit a little too close to home. Maybe it's time to show those ads who's boss and indulge in a giant slice of pizza instead! 🍕 #ChinFatStruggles