New funny body quotes

• Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

• Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

• My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

• I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

• I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

• Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

• When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

• I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

• They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

• Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Top funny body quotes

• The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

• Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

• The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

• It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

• My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

• I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

• I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

• You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

• According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

• May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Popular funny body quotes

• I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

• So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

• Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

• I want this laziness removed from my body.

• Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

• By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

• My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

• A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

• Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

More funny body quotes

• Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

• The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

• Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

• Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

• I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

• Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

• Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

• Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

• Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

• I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Witty body quotes

• Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

• If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

• Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

• Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

• I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

• The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

• I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

• Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

• The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

• Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Funny body quotes remind us that no matter how hard we try to control it, our body loves throwing curveballs 🤣. Whether it’s making odd sounds when you stand up 🪑, forgetting how to balance 🩰, or falling asleep in the most uncomfortable positions 😴, the body is a walking comedy routine. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought, “Why is my body like this?!” 🙃. So embrace the quirks, laugh at the malfunctions, and enjoy the hilarious reality of having a body 🤪!