Funny body quotes celebrate the hilarious quirks, surprises, and malfunctions that come with being human 🤪. From mysterious random aches 🤷♂️ to the body’s refusal to cooperate during workouts 🏋️♂️, our bodies often provide nonstop comedy 😂. These quotes capture the funny side of dealing with weird noises, awkward movements, and moments where your body seems to have its own plan 🙃. Get ready to laugh at the wonderfully ridiculous ride that comes with living inside a human body 😄!
New funny body quotes
- I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.
- When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.
- Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.
- I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.
- Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.
- If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?
- Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.
- Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.
- I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.
- The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”
Top funny body quotes
- I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.
- Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.
- The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.
- Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.
- Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.
- Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.
- All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.
- There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!
- Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.
- My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.
Popular funny body quotes
- I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.
- I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.
- My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.
- My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.
- My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.
- I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.
- I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.
- Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.
- Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”
- Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.
More funny body quotes
- I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.
- This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.
- When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.
- My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.
- Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.
- Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.
- Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?
- Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.
- Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.
- Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.
Witty body quotes
- “Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.
- I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.
- Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.
- If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.
- Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.
- You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.
- You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
- Short men store so much anger in their little body.
- “Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.
Funny body quotes remind us that no matter how hard we try to control it, our body loves throwing curveballs 🤣. Whether it’s making odd sounds when you stand up 🪑, forgetting how to balance 🩰, or falling asleep in the most uncomfortable positions 😴, the body is a walking comedy routine. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought, “Why is my body like this?!” 🙃. So embrace the quirks, laugh at the malfunctions, and enjoy the hilarious reality of having a body 🤪!