New funny fitness quotes

• A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

• If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

• I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

• I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

• My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

• Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

• My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

• I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

• This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

• My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Top funny fitness quotes

• Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

• Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

• I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

• A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

• “A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

• Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

• All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

• Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

• I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

• Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Popular funny fitness quotes

• Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

• Scrolling should count as cardio.

• Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

• If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

• It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

• I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

• Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

• My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

• I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

• Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

More funny fitness quotes

• Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

• The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

• Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

• How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

• I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

• About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

• The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

• Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

• You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

• Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Witty fitness quotes

• Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

• Eat like your treadmill is watching.

• I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

• Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

• Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

• I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

• “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

• Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

• Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Funny fitness quotes remind us that while exercise is good for the body 💪, laughter is great for the soul 😂. Whether you’re a gym regular 🏋️‍♀️ or a professional procrastinator 🙃, fitness offers endless comedy gold 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought, “I work out… sometimes… kind of” 😅. So lace up those sneakers (or not), embrace the struggle, and keep laughing your way through fitness 🤪!