Funny good quotes show that even the “good” parts of life aren’t safe from a little humor 😂. From good intentions that go sideways 🙃 to “good enough” efforts that totally miss the mark 🎯, life constantly delivers comedy wrapped in positivity 🤪. These quotes capture the irony, the silliness, and the awkward charm of trying to do good — and sometimes failing spectacularly 🤣. Get ready to laugh at how wonderfully weird “good” can get 😄!
New funny good quotes
- Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.
- Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”
- One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.
- Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.
- Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.
- I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.
- Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.
- Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
- Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.
- A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
Top funny good quotes
- I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.
- Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.
- I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.
- I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.
- The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.
- It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?
- Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.
- I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.
- Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”
- My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”
Popular funny good quotes
- Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.
- When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.
- Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”
- It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.
- I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
- Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.
- Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.
- My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.
- Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.
- I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.
More funny good quotes
- I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.
- If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.
- “What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.
- Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.
- You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.
- Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.
- It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
- Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.
- If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
- It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.
Witty good quotes
- Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.
- Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.
- Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.
- Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?
- She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.
- Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?
- I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
- I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
- Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.
Funny good quotes remind us that being good, doing good, or even feeling good doesn’t always go as planned 😅. From well-meaning advice 🗣️ to overly optimistic promises 🎭, life’s good moments often come with a hilarious twist 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever proudly said “this is good!” right before things went hilariously wrong 🤷♂️. So keep aiming for good, enjoy the bloopers, and always find the humor in life’s imperfect perfection 🤣!