Funny home quotes capture the wild, cozy, and often hilariously messy world of domestic life ๐ก. From laundry mountains ๐งบ to never-ending DIY disasters ๐จ, home is where the comedy writes itself ๐. These quotes shine a light on the quirks, chaos, and comfort that make every house a one-of-a-kind sitcom ๐คช. Get ready to laugh at the everyday mishaps, strange habits, and lovable madness that turn a house into a true home ๐!
New funny home quotes
- My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.
- โMom, how did we get so rich?โ your father said, โThanks, nothing from my end,โ on thousands of important Zoom meetings.
- โAnother bombshell has entered the villa!โ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.
- I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.
- Iโm so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.
- My mom asked me where Iโm taking her to eat on Motherโs Day. I told her we have food at home.
- Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.
- From now on, Iโm gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.
- Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, Iโm mad that we donโt have any junk food.
- Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, โฆ
Top funny home quotes
- I canโt even think straight knowing a package got delivered while Iโm not home.
- Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.
- My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I donโt go camping.
- Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didnโt say which one. Now Iโm at home.
- I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.
- You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.
- I found a box of VHS tapes. Iโm a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.
- Canโt wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.
- Me pulling into a full parking lot: Donโt these people have homes?
- Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldnโt romanticize your walk home?
Popular funny home quotes
- Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.
- To save money in this economy, Iโve tried eating out and Iโve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.
- Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.
- Remember, you donโt have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.
- I canโt wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.
- You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.
- Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.
- I donโt like being asked โare you at home?โ Please expand further so I can know whether Iโm at home or not.
- Iโm exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.
- The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.
More funny home quotes
- What I learned from Covid is that itโs basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.
- I already want to come home from work tomorrow.
- My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.
- Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.
- 9-5 is really 10-2 if youโre working remote.
- Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.
- Iโm so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know Iโmma laugh when I do.
- People say โgo big or go homeโ like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and Iโll have a nap when I get there.
- My bed wasnโt feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
- I havenโt even gone to bed yet and I already canโt wait to get home from work tomorrow.
Witty home quotes
- And then I thought to myself, โWhatโs the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?โ
- I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know itโs to annoy my husband.
- Home is where you trust the toilet seat.
- I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, โwhoโd he kill?โ
- I donโt like being asked โare you at home?โ Please expand further so I can know whether Iโm at home or not.
- If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, donโt be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.
- Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
- Home is where you trust the toilet seats.
- If there was an award for staying at home, Iโd win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.
- Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.
Funny home quotes remind us that while home is where the heart is โค๏ธ, itโs also where things constantly go hilariously wrong ๐. From missing socks ๐งฆ to awkward family moments ๐ฅด, life at home is packed with comedy gold ๐คฃ. These quotes are perfect for anyone whoโs ever looked around their house and thought, โWell, that escalated quicklyโ ๐. So embrace the mess, enjoy the comfort, and keep laughing at the beautiful madness that makes home so special ๐คช!