50+ Funny People Quotes That Prove We’re All A Little Weird

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.