50+ Funny People Quotes That Prove We’re All A Little Weird

New funny people quotes

• Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

• Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

• Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

• I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

• I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

• There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

• 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

• Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

• “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

• I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Top funny people quotes

• If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

• Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

• Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

• I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

• Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

• People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

• How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

• People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

• On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

• The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Popular funny people quotes

• I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

• Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

• Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

• 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

• Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

• Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

• People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

• When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

• If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

More funny people quotes

• I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

• There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

• I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

• When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

• People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

• People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

• Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

• There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

• People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

• Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Witty people quotes

• Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

• Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

• People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

• I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

• People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

• I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

• People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

• My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

• I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

• Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Funny people quotes remind us that everyone has their own brand of weird 🧩 — and that’s exactly what makes life so entertaining 🎢. From friends who overshare 🗨️ to strangers who leave you speechless 😳, people create endless material for laughter 😂. These quotes are perfect for those moments when you just need to shake your head and smile 😅. So keep observing, keep laughing, and remember: the world is full of characters — and we’re all one of them 🤪!