50+ Funny Relationship Quotes That Reveal The Hilarious Side Of Love

New funny relationship quotes

• Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

• Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

• Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

• Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

• Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

• Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

• I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

• If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Top funny relationship quotes

• “You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

• Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

• The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

• That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

• “You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

• My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

• I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

• Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

• Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

• My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Popular funny relationship quotes

• A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

• Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

• If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

• Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

• My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

• As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

• I love hard, but I stupid harder.

• 89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

• If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

• Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

More funny relationship quotes

• Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

• Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

• For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

• I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

• The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

• You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

• True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

• ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

• Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

• You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Witty relationship quotes

• Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

• Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

• Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

• A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

• You used to calm me on my cell phone!

• I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

• When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

• You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

• Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

• Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Funny relationship quotes prove that the secret to lasting love might just be shared laughter 😂. Whether it’s laughing at your partner’s quirks 🧦, surviving each other’s weird habits 🧩, or turning daily chaos into inside jokes 🤣, humor keeps relationships strong 💪. These quotes remind us that perfection isn’t the goal 🎯 — it’s about finding someone who laughs at life’s craziness right along with you 👯‍♂️. So keep the jokes coming, cherish the silly moments, and never stop giggling together 🤗.