50+ Funny Sarcasm Quotes That Will Make Your Inner Smartass Smile

New funny sarcasm quotes

• 69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

• Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

• You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

• I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

• Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

• Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

• Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

• There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

• Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

• Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Top funny sarcasm quotes

• Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

• Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

• The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

• Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

• “Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

• At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

• Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

• Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

• If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

• Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Popular funny sarcasm quotes

• My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

• Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

• I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

• My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

• Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

• God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

• “Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

• My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

• I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

• Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

More funny sarcasm quotes

• Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

• You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

• “Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

• I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

• If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

• If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

• If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

• Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

• When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

• Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Witty sarcasm quotes

• The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

• I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

• Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

• The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

• Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

• I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

• Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

• We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

• I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Funny sarcasm quotes remind us that sometimes the best way to handle nonsense is with a perfectly delivered zinger 🥊. From biting one-liners 🗣️ to subtle digs 👀, sarcasm turns frustration into comedy gold 🎭. These quotes are ideal for anyone who’s mastered the art of the sassy comeback 🤪 or just appreciates a good dose of dry humor 😂. So keep the wit sharp, the comebacks ready, and always remember: if you can’t say something nice, say it sarcastically 😎.