50+ Funny Sarcasm Quotes That Will Make Your Inner Smartass Smile

New funny sarcasm quotes

• If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

• So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

• Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

• Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

• Being awake is the worst.

• I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

• When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

• My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

• 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

• Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Top funny sarcasm quotes

• I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

• No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

• Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

• if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

• I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

• To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

• You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

• Have you tried complaining about it?

• “You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

• Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Popular funny sarcasm quotes

• If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

• Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

• Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

• You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

• “Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

• “I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

• “You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

• Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

• Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

• You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

More funny sarcasm quotes

• Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

• Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

• I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

• Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

• My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

• If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

• My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

• That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

• Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

• “You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Witty sarcasm quotes

• Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

• Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

• “You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

• There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

• My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

• Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

• What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

• May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

• If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

• During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Funny sarcasm quotes remind us that sometimes the best way to handle nonsense is with a perfectly delivered zinger 🥊. From biting one-liners 🗣️ to subtle digs 👀, sarcasm turns frustration into comedy gold 🎭. These quotes are ideal for anyone who’s mastered the art of the sassy comeback 🤪 or just appreciates a good dose of dry humor 😂. So keep the wit sharp, the comebacks ready, and always remember: if you can’t say something nice, say it sarcastically 😎.