50+ Funny Say Quotes That Prove We All Talk Before We Think

New funny say quotes

• Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

• Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

• My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

• Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

• You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

• Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

• ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

• I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

• I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

• “That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Top funny say quotes

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

• I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

• Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

• There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

• When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

• This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

• Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

• People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

• I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Popular funny say quotes

• I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

• They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

• “I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

• Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

• I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

• When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

• Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

• I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

• They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

More funny say quotes

• I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

• Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

• Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

• Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

• Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

• Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

• If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

• Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

• I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

• They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Witty say quotes

• If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

• Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

• Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

• I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

• When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

• What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

• I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

• Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

• You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

• When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Funny say quotes remind us that sometimes what comes out of our mouths is funnier than anything we could’ve planned 😂. Whether it’s a slip of the tongue 😬, a poorly timed joke 🤷‍♀️, or an unfiltered comment that leaves everyone speechless 🤣, talking can be a comedy routine all on its own. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever wished they had a rewind button 🔄. So keep talking, keep laughing, and enjoy the funny surprises in what we say 🤪!