New funny single quotes

• I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

• Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

• A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

• I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

• Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

• Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

• People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

• It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

• A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

• Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Top funny single quotes

• I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

• Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

• I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

• Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

• Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

• The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

• I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

• The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

• The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

• You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Popular funny single quotes

• No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

• The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

• Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

• I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

• If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

• One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

• Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

• Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

• The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

• I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

More funny single quotes

• Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

• Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

• I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

• Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

• My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

• I am single, please disturb me!

• Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

• I dare you to try and be more single than me.

• Tested positive for being single af

• Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Witty single quotes

• Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

• The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

• Relationship status: he escaped.

• Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

• Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

• “Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

• Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

• Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

• Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

• Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Funny single quotes remind us that while being in a relationship has its perks 💕, being single comes with its own brand of hilarious independence 🤣. Whether it’s solo binge-watching marathons 📺, eating whatever you want 🍕, or having zero accountability for bad decisions 🙃, single life delivers constant comedy. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that being single isn’t lonely — it’s just one big funny adventure 🤪. So embrace the solo laughs, enjoy the freedom, and keep having fun flying solo 😂!