50+ Funny Sleep Quotes That Perfectly Capture Our Eternal Nap Struggle

New funny sleep quotes

• So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

• Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

• Being awake is the worst.

• I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

• I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

• Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

• Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

• Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

• Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

• Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Top funny sleep quotes

• Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

• A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

• The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

• I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

• I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

• If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

• Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

• After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

• The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Popular funny sleep quotes

• It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

• It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

• The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

• I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

• They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

• Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

• Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

• Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

• What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

• I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

More funny sleep quotes

• Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

• It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

• Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

• It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

• Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

• Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

• Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

• The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

• For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

• I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Witty sleep quotes

• My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

• I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

• Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

• Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

• To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

• Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

• Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

• The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

• Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

• Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Funny sleep quotes remind us that no matter how much we sleep, it’s never quite enough 😩. From binge-watching too late 📺 to snoozing the alarm for the fifth time ⏰, our sleep patterns are full of comedy gold 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who loves sleep as much as they love to complain about not getting enough of it 💤. So snuggle in, embrace the naps, and keep laughing at the daily struggle of chasing perfect rest 😆!