New funny sleep quotes

• You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

• Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

• Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

• The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

• Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

• Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

• Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

• “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

• Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

• In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Top funny sleep quotes

• All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

• My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

• Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

• I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

• I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

• The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

• Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

• I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

• Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

• Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Popular funny sleep quotes

• Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

• Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

• Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

• An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

• My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

• God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

• You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

• I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

• Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

• My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

More funny sleep quotes

• My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

• Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

• They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

• Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

• Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

• Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

• I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

• “I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

• Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

• I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Witty sleep quotes

• In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

• Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

• My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

• My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

• People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

• Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

• Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

• Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

• Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

• Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Funny sleep quotes remind us that no matter how much we sleep, it’s never quite enough 😩. From binge-watching too late 📺 to snoozing the alarm for the fifth time ⏰, our sleep patterns are full of comedy gold 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who loves sleep as much as they love to complain about not getting enough of it 💤. So snuggle in, embrace the naps, and keep laughing at the daily struggle of chasing perfect rest 😆!