New funny social quotes

• That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

• Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

• My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

• I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

• Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

• The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

• Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

• Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

• I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

• Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Top funny social quotes

• It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

• I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

• I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

• I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

• Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

• Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

• Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

• I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

• If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

• I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Popular funny social quotes

• Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

• Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

• Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

• I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

• Being social sucks all my energy.

• When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

• I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

• I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

• Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

• I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

More funny social quotes

• Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

• I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

• Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

• Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

• They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

• It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

• Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

• I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

• We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

• “Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Witty social quotes

• Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

• Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

• I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

• Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

• No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

• Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

• Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

• “Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

• I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

• I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Funny social quotes remind us that no one really has it all figured out when it comes to interacting with others 🧐. From cringe-worthy introductions 😬 to trying too hard to be cool 😎, social life is full of moments that deserve a good laugh 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever said something weird at a party 🎈 or overthought a text message 📱. So embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the blunders, and keep making hilarious social memories 🤪!