New funny thing quotes

• My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

• Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

• At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

• FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

• Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

• Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

• “Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

• Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

• “I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

• I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Top funny thing quotes

• The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

• No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

• The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

• Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

• The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

• The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

• Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

• I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

• Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

• I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Popular funny thing quotes

• When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

• One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

• One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

• The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

• Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

• The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

• I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

• No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

• I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

• My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

More funny thing quotes

• My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

• Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

• Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

• It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

• Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

• Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

• The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

• The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

• My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

• One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Witty thing quotes

• Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

• Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

• One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

• The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

• I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

• One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

• The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

• The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

• This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

• It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Funny thing quotes remind us that sometimes we don’t even know what “the thing” is, but we still talk about it anyway 😂. From trying to explain something 🗣️ to making vague plans 📅, “thing” becomes the perfect stand-in when our brains just give up 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever said “you know, that thing” while hoping someone else fills in the blanks 🤪. So embrace the vagueness, laugh at the confusion, and enjoy how funny life’s little things can be 😆!