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50+ Funny Thing Quotes That Prove Everything Can Be A Little Ridiculous

Life is essentially just a long series of interactions with “things” that don’t want to cooperate. 🛠️💢 Whether it’s the thingamajig that fell off your car, the “internet of things” that won’t let you make toast without a firmware update, or that mysterious thing in the back of your fridge that has developed its own ecosystem, we are surrounded by inanimate objects with big personalities. 🍞📶 We spend half our lives looking for the “thingy” that goes with the “other thing,” and the other half wondering why we bought that specific thing in the first place. 🛍️🌀 From the “one thing” you forgot at the grocery store to the realization that you have way too many things and nowhere to put them, “things” are the primary source of both our comfort and our ultimate frustration. 😂📦 We’ve gathered 50 of the funniest quotes about the physical world and all the stuff in it that keeps us on our toes. 😂🧩✨

The Funniest Things Are Often the Smallest – Funny Thing Quotes 😂🔎

It’s amazing how ordinary things can become unexpectedly funny 😅🧦 From random objects to everyday situations, this section celebrates humor hiding in plain sight. These quotes show that you don’t need big moments to laugh — just a good eye for life’s little “things.” Dive into the next ten quotes and enjoy humor in the details 😄✨

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Commentary:
Proof that even my consciousness has buyer's remorse 😂🧠💭

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Commentary:
Embracing the solemn responsibility of binge-watching entire series without interruption—I'm essentially doing it for the kids! 🍿📺😂

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Commentary:
When the "idea guys" meet the "reality check" emoji committee 😂💡➡️🤔

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Commentary:
🏝️🌈 "Survival or serving looks, that's the new dilemma!" 😂

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Commentary:
Is it coming on foot with time travel powers? Waiting for my 2017 self to be surprised! 📦⏳😂

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Commentary:
28 years later, and they're still waiting for their apology letter from the universe 😂🎢🇬🇧

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Commentary:
Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Commentary:
Always a comfort to know we're all in this together, lowering the bar one click at a time 😂🤦‍♂️🌐

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Commentary:
Who knew my horse-taming skills would go to waste? 🐴💁‍♂️ #ModernProblems

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Commentary:
Guess I'm stuck with current me as my sidekick on this hero's journey! 🦸‍♂️💪🤣

Ever Notice How Random Stuff Makes No Sense? 😏🤷

Some things just exist to confuse us 😅📦 This collection highlights witty observations about objects, habits, and moments that raise more questions than answers. Enjoy ten clever thing quotes that turn everyday randomness into comedy gold 🤣💬

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Commentary:
Trying to find the vocals in a Pink Floyd track is like waiting for a kettle to boil—eventually, you'll get the tea 🍵🎸🎶

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Commentary:
I'm just here to dazzle you with my eyes while I casually mention that I can recite the entire periodic table backwards. 🤓👀🔍

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Commentary:
When you're arguing with your toaster because it dared to burn your toast… 🍞🔥😡

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! 😜💪🧘‍♀️

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Commentary:
Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Commentary:
Cats must think hairballs are the universe's surprise gifts—one minute you're clean, next minute you're saying "thanks, but no thanks" to a fur ball! 😹🎁

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Commentary:
Looks like we're all aboard the USS Speedy Steps to destination 'Next Floor'! 🚀🤣

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Commentary:
When my heart wants tacos but my brain says salad, it’s a real ethical dilemma 🌮🧠🥗

When Things Go Slightly Wrong (and That’s the Joke) 😜🔧

Not everything works the way it should — and that’s funny 😅😂 This section focuses on humorous moments involving broken stuff, misplaced things, and small failures we all recognize. Scroll through ten humorous thing quotes that make minor chaos feel entertaining 😄✨

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Commentary:
Sure, and if pigs could fly, they’d have private jets too! 🐷🛩️

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Commentary:
Guess we should start rooting for those Cloudflare blips — our surprise digital superheroes! 😂🔌🌩️

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶‍♂️🌆

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Commentary:
Who knew the Twitter bird would lay golden eggs worth less than a vending machine snack? 🐦💰😆

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Commentary:
Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦹‍♀️

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Commentary:
Aww, someone call the cheese factory because this is getting extra cheesy! 🧀💕 All aboard the love train, choo choo! 🚂❤️

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Commentary:
Oh, so they’ve got a PhD in fibbing and think I'm in preschool math? 😏📚🤔

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, ask for a yacht. The universe might just hand you a paddle! 🚤🍋😄

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Commentary:
Never knew adulthood meant earning a PhD in kitchenology! 🧼🍽️🔄

Clever Thoughts About Stuff We Never Question 🧠😏

Why do certain things exist the way they do? 😏🧐 This collection shines a clever light on overlooked details, everyday tools, and familiar objects we rarely think about. Enjoy ten clever thing quotes that make you laugh and rethink the obvious 😅💥

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Commentary:
Turning arguments into binge-worthy series since day one! 🍿🎬

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Commentary:
Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Commentary:
I hear selective amnesia is on sale this week! 😂🧠✨

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Commentary:
Embracing winter with open arms and closed doors! ❄️🏡😂

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Commentary:
Sounds like those guys are about to have a hiss-terical encounter! 🐍😄

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Commentary:
Who needs friends when you have a for you page that knows your deepest, darkest memes? 😂📱

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Commentary:
Why chase dreams when I can perfect the art of procrastination? 🎨😴

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Commentary:
Antique chairs: the VIP seats of history's butt party! 🍑🪑😆

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Commentary:
Living my best life by doing absolutely nothing and loving every moment of it! 😌🛋️ #ProLevelChillin'

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Commentary:
"Guess I peaked with my comedy career at 10 likes 😂✨ #StandUpLegend"

Laughing at Things Because Why Not? 🎉😄

To wrap things up, this section celebrates the playful side of noticing “stuff” 😄🪄 From pointless items to oddly satisfying things, these quotes remind us that humor is everywhere if you’re paying attention. Stick around for ten playful thing quotes that leave you smiling at the world around you 😄✨

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Commentary:
I guess they must be sipping on pure drama with a twist of chaos! 🍹🎭

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Commentary:
Finally perfected my "de-shopping" skills 😂🏠🛒

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Commentary:
When he fixes the Wi-Fi, he's basically Ryan Reynolds 😂📶✨

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Commentary:
Sounds like my schedule is booked with a whole lot of nothing today! 😆🛌✨

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Commentary:
Trying to guess my opponent's next move is like predicting a cat's mood 🐱🤯♟️

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Commentary:
YouTube ads must think I'm in the market for a yacht and a PhD in astrophysics… because clearly, they know what I need better than I do! 🚤🤓🎓

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Commentary:
Juice: *tastes great, but forgot to mention it's moonwalking practice in a glass* 🍹🕺😂

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Commentary:
That wet sports bra deserves an Olympic gold for wrestling! 🐊🤣🌞

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Commentary:
Ice cream for dinner? Sign me up! Who needs adulting when you can have sprinkles for supper! 🍦😋🎉

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Commentary:
Well, at least now I know where to keep my snacks during awkward conversations! 😂🙈 #Priorities

Putting That Weird Thing Back In The Junk Drawer Where It Belongs

You’ve reached the end of our inventory, and hopefully, you didn’t lose any of your own prized possessions along the way. 🏺📉 It’s funny how we spend our youth collecting things only to spend our adulthood trying to figure out how to get rid of them without hurting their feelings. 🚛💔 Objects might not have hearts, but they certainly have a knack for disappearing the exact moment you need them and reappearing five minutes after you’ve bought a replacement. The secret to a happy life isn’t owning the best things; it’s just being able to find the TV remote on the first try. Now, go ahead and organize that one drawer you’ve been avoiding—or better yet, just close it and pretend everything is fine! ✌️😎📂✨