New funny think quotes

• I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

• I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

• Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, ‘They’re eating right now.’

• I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

• Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

• At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

• People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

• Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

• Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

• Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Top funny think quotes

• I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

• Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

• I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

• My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

• USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

• The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

• Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

• Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

• Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

• Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Popular funny think quotes

• To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

• It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

• I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

• I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

• I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

• I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

• People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

• People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

• Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

• If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

More funny think quotes

• You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

• I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

• I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

• I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

• I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

• I had too much to think last night.

• I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

• I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

• I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

• I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Witty think quotes

• I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

• I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

• I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

• I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

• I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

• Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

• I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

• I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

• I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

• The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Funny think quotes remind us that our thoughts aren’t always as deep or logical as we pretend 🧠. From spiraling over nothing 🌪️ to having random “aha” moments in the shower 🚿, thinking can be a hilarious adventure all by itself 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever caught themselves laughing at their own weird brain 🧩. So embrace the overthinking, enjoy the random thoughts, and keep laughing at the strange things we all think about 🤣!