50+ Funny Work Quotes That Perfectly Capture The 9-To-5 Struggle

New funny work quotes

• The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

• I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

• Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

• I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

• You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

• The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

• People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

• When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

• Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Top funny work quotes

• Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

• Having a job ruined my life.

• People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

• Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

• If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

• Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

• People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

• I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

• Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

• I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Popular funny work quotes

• Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

• Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

• This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

• To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

• Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

• You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

• I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

• Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

• I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

• I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

More funny work quotes

• You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

• One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

• Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

• The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

• Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

• Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

• Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

• If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

• I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Witty work quotes

• Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

• Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

• The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

• If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

• I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

• Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

• What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

• My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

• I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

• My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Funny work quotes remind us that a sense of humor is essential for surviving the office jungle 🐅. From bizarre coworker conversations 🗣️ to epic procrastination sessions 📱, work life rarely goes as planned — and that’s where the fun begins 😂. These quotes are perfect for sharing with colleagues who understand the daily chaos 🌪️. So keep smiling through the deadlines, laugh at the madness, and remember: work may be serious, but you don’t have to be 😄!