Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Clearly this candidate has some killer moves they're just not willing to show off in the boardroom 🥋💼 No need for team-building exercises here, just bring on the karate chops! 💥💼 #ResumeGoals"

activity, career, employment, gap, humor, job, job search, just, karate, resume, search, skills, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

0

2 months ago

advice, clock, humor, never, pun, secret, share, tell, time
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

0

2 months ago

always, better, connectivity, desert, digital, humor, i, internet, joke, looking, occasionally, pun, signal, tech, tech humor, technology, wandering, wifi
Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

0

2 months ago

being, career, humor, job, job search, know, piece, piece of shit, questioning, sarcasm, search, shit
Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

0

3 months ago

drink, drinking, gross, humor, i, joke, know, lead, misunderstanding, oh, only, powder, protein
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

0

2 months ago

bad, chocolate, diet, eating, giving, giving up, humor, month, punctuation, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

23 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

57 shares on Slack this month:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Just landed via Twitch:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Trending via Discord:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Trending via Messenger:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Spotted on TikTok:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨