Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Clearly this candidate has some killer moves they're just not willing to show off in the boardroom 🥋💼 No need for team-building exercises here, just bring on the karate chops! 💥💼 #ResumeGoals"

activity, career, employment, gap, humor, job, job search, just, karate, resume, search, skills, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

0

2 months ago

dollars, floor, food, great, having, humor, i, kids, little, love, money, parenting, spending, trash, week
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

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2 months ago

brains, fall, fall out, humor, irony, open-minded, perspective, too, wit
You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

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2 months ago

belongings, breaking, breaking in, going, home, humor, invasion, lot, observation, person, tell
I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

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2 months ago

age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where
Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

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5 months ago

everything, heroine, humor, midweek, novel, questioning, questions, reflection, stares, Wednesday, where, window
“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

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2 months ago

challenge, choice, difficult, difficult life, easy, easy life, humor, i, just, life, life philosophy, philosophy, should, simplicity, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Spotted on Slack:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨